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Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
It`s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
Hush little laptop don`t you cry,mumma gonna find you some more wifi.
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Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.