Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
Irony is paying a therapist to listen to how you don’t like talking to other people.
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........