Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re going to be a d!ck.. At least be a big one.
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
Marriage...betting someone half your stuff you`ll love them forever.
I just want to be as thin as my patience.
My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.