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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.