Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
I was all depressed last night, so I called "Lifeline". Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.