Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
My cat probably thinks I`m cleaning my ice cream...
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.