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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
Found out today that you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, NOT a jelly stain. Sorry, strange lady at the Waffle House. Just trying to help...
I`m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
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I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.