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Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
This status is mine....I licked it.
The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I`m done picking my nose, I`m gonna smile and wave.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.