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I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
If only mosquitoes sucked fat, instead of blood.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you`re bound to get burned
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.