Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn`t talk much and I like that.
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, where in hell did he get that idea?
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted