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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.