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"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
I`ve grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine.
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
I never thought you could really guess too low whenever a woman asks you her age. I guess 6 was pushing it.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.
I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of your eye but half the time there is anything in my eye its an eyelash!