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you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
I get very annoyed when people mix up there, they`re and their. From now on I`m going to point it out, weather they like it or not.
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.