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Which wine goes best with more wine?
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
My wife complains about everything I do. It`s like she doesn`t know there are "Sexy singles in my area" that want to meet with me.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.