Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
"I`m single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I`m still single, cuz I say sh!t like that?
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
If I say sorry I missed you, better look really close the next time you cross the street, I don`t miss twice.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie