Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
My roommate is on a date and said he`s convinced she`s coming home with him tonight. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
I don’t cut in front of people whenever I’m waiting in long line, that’s rude. I just start dancing & grinding on them until they get all weirded out & leave. Works every time.
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
You know why it`s called almond milk? Cuz you can`t say nut juice with a straight face
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car