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Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
My family tree is a cactus, we`re all pricks.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.