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I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.