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They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
Clearly the people that design refrigerators don`t know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
I`m really good at making poor decisions. You`re my favorite so far.
apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
I’m bored enough to clean.
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.