Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I do all of my ironing in the dryer.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
that akward moment when you finish doing your thing in the toilet and you realise there is no tissue
Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!
Been there, done that. allegedly
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.