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Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body!
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
My own personal hell sounds great, actually