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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you`re trying to escape?
I like people... From a distance.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
Karma takes too long ..... I`d rather beat the sh%t out of you.
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
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You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
You’re not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you’re an a$$hole.
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.