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Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.