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People of planet Earth, thank your gods that I`m not in charge of the red button.
I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment"
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you`re a vegetarian.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
Such a satisfying feeling when βthe one that got awayβ turns into βdodged that bulletβ
I was so angry when I found my wifeβs profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isnβt βfun to be around.β
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
Instead of βgay friendsβ can we say homiesexuals
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
gua suka sama kamu