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Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
I wish I could just “like” a text so I don’t have to respond.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
My dog doesn`t always bark like there`s an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I`m home alone and in the shower.
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".