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My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
You can test my patience all you want, but Iām never going to pass.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.