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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
Anybody wanna go halfsies on an orgasm?
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.