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Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
If you`re stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
Trying to get in shape for all those people I`m not having sex with.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.