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ME: “We have a problem, the liquor store is closed.” HER: “That`s ok, I don’t drink.” ME: “Ok we have two problems.”
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
I hate how after an argument I think of really clever stuff I should have said.
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
I`m not saying I`m bilingual but if you shout at me in German I`ll probably do whatever you want
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to go poop after you get out of the shower.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.