Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should`ve considered.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you need medicine.