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Every day at work I wonder if this is going to be the day I accidentally scream "SHUT THE F*CK UP` out loud instead of just in my head.
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
Okay so the pregnant woman in the library didn`t get my `overdue` joke.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
Google image results are like a party that starts off exactly how you expected and gets weirder the longer you stay.
Life is fun! You should get one.
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.