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When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
Whenever you can`t think of anything to say in therapy just go with, "I`ve been thinking about killing you."
Girls these days be like `I wanna get the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet`N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice tan look`
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)