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Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
Home is where the alcohol is.