Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they`ll erase what they did during the week.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?