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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
Do you ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "that can`t be right"?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.