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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
Tip of the day: Don`t piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.