Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
I`m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn`t work out
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don`t want people to recognize me when I`m pooping.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.