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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
I`m 42 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart
“Single and ready to mingle” is the fancy way of saying “Alone and desperate”
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
If the zombie apocalypse happened in Vegas…would it “stay in Vegas”?
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.