Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy, if you put it in your stomach first.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
I think it`s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I`m the Problem"
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
life is too short to match socks
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.