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I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we`re like "that`s a soup ladle".
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
Some things are better left unsaid, but I`m probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.