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Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
These statuses are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.