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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
I`m trying to live healthier......but I`m considering taking up cigars, since they`re still the coolest way to light dynamite fuses.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I`d be like cool I`m going home to eat.
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
In my day we had to roll the windows up and down with our bare hands.