Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
If you’re getting dirty looks because your baby is crying loudly on a plane, start crying even louder and everyone will avoid eye contact
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
When people I don’t know ask me what I do for a living I shout “Karma,” and punch them before running away.
Does anyone have like twenty thousand dollars they don’t want? Asking for myself.
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
I would`ve thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited `til it was dark instead.
I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English.