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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
Iām not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.
I read Facebook for the pictures.
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.