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I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.