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At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
There is no better indication of how drunk you are than how loudly you declare that you`re not.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.