Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
insert coin to view my status
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.