Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
If you`re married and having trouble, ask "what would Jesus do?" then remember that jesus was never married.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1?” So I did. I don’t remember much afterwards.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
I put the “Pro” in Procrastinate.
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.
Fun thing to do #48: Spice up your food delivery order by ending the call with "And NO cops!"
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.