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Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Any hedge can be a maze if you are drunk enough.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Iām not stupid. Iām just too lazy to show how smart I am.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that`d be a great name for my new baby!"
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
Iām back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?