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If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.
Why can`t we just change the spelling to fit the way it sounds: Bologna = Bolony Lasagna = lasania knife= nife tsunami = sunami politician = a$$hole