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State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible. …. ….. She must have given me a cold or something.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
Someone`s gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
People with kids, your posts are all the birth control I need.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It`s okay, I think we lost him."
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.