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I put the o in illiterate!
OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
It’s the people that DON`T talk to themselves that are the crazy ones. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.