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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
Not to brag, but I`m pretty good in bed. I don`t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It`s only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You`ll be just fine.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds